Caricature cliche

So, I figure all industries have those common occurrences that are so common, you wish they'd stop occurring.  My brother, previously a server, could ascertain at first glance the type of customer he might have.  One of his favorites is the "infant orderer."

          Server:  Hey guys! My name is Rodrigo.
               I'll be your server today; what can I get for you?
          Frazzled Mommy (talking to babbling baby): Billy, te–BILLY,
               tell the–BILLY, TELL THE MAN WHAT YOU WANT!!!
          Babbling baby:  Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeh.
          Mommy: Billy, tell–
          Babbling Baby: No. (the only word baby will say consistently in
               public.  He once said "Sprite" by accident, but has since
               refused to repeat that event.)

Don't be this mommy.

Likewise, drawing caricatures* comes with a series of events that happen at every single gig**.  For your information, and potential enjoyment I present this list of cliches that might make you "this mommy" to a caricature artist.

1.) The "she doesn't have a mustache" guy.  This guy is the same guy that laughs loudly at his own jokes, and wants more than anything for that nice pretty girl that accidentally talked to him once, to "stop playing hard to get."  This guy stands behind the artist, points at his drawing of said pretty girl and trys to say something funny, but instead his voice comes out.

2.) The "can you draw my kids from this grainy cell phone picture?" lady.  The key to any caricature is likeness.  If a drawing looks like a person, it can be mediocre.  If a caricature doesn't look like the subject, it doesn't matter how pretty the drawing is it's not gonna please.  Drawing from a 6 year old picture with inaccurate hair and sunglasses is sort of like asking a chef to make a burger out of tofu (take that tofu-burger).

3.) The "Pet caricature" lady.  I love drawing animals, but not yours.  The only thing less fun than drawing your shih zuh, is having to hear the phrase "my dogs are my kids."  If your dogs are your kids, you're delusional.  Dogs are along the same line as cows, but fortunately for them they don't taste as great on a bun.  I understand that you love your dogs, really.  I'm a dog person, and always have been.  Dogs don't compare to kids, it's just math. Your dogs will always pick food over you, accept this, and skip the caricature.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate any of these people.  The arrival of one or all of them proves that I'm on a caricature job.  Drawing caricatures is one of the sweetest deals in the world, but even on a caricature gig, there are "infant orderers."

*Caricatures are intended to be a silly representation of the subject, along the lines of a cartoon.  Unfortunately, an ugly kid will still be ugly when we're done. :)


**I use the word "gig" not as a delusional musician or beatnik, but instead to fit in with my other caricature "hommies."