I want to be 10 feet tall and blue.

So what happens when you take the script from a Saturday morning cartoon, and cross it with the worlds biggest budget for a motion picture?  

That's right, baby...AVATAR happens.

My mind was numb and blown all in the same sitting.  It was like eating candy with arsenic in it.  You can't taste the poison, but you know something's just not right.  Here's a line from the script that you may be familiar with, as uttered by a saucy soldier in a situation that is heaped with tension: "I didn't sign up for this!!!" and don't forget the grizzled war vet that growls: "I wanna get home in  time for dinner, boys!"

I say you may be familiar with these lines because they've appeared in terrible movies more times than Lindsay Lohan has heard sirens in the last week (and that's a bunch).   Don't get me wrong, I can excuse a bit of bad writing, but this writing was so bad as to warrant being lumped with "Armageddon," and "G.I.Joe."

Yep, it's that bad.

The good news, is that it's unbelievably, heart-thumpingly, holy-crapingly fun to watch.  This stupid movie is so beautiful, it doesn't matter that it's dancing to a craptacular script.  I mean REALLY, it's that beautiful.  See it now, see it in 3D, see it with your brain turned off.

Oh, and there is one perk to the script being so unimaginably bad.  It's a preachy little movie.  For me, the idiocy of the script and dialogue made it absolutely impossible for me to care that it had a message.  It's kinda like being taught ethics by an out of breath 6 year old:

"Um.......um...you should, um...yunno...you shouldn't um...yunno, cuz you can't, um...shouldn't...um ...can I have a cookie?"